


Dissolution

by boononjie



Series: Barristers! AU [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Don't sue me, Drama, Heartbreak, I'm not a lawyer, Lovers To Enemies, M/M, Political Drama, Romance, Slow Burn, i don't know the law, not a law student either, politically incorrect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:13:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23058286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boononjie/pseuds/boononjie
Summary: It's a love storyEighteen years in unmaking
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan & Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups, Boo Seungkwan & Jeon Wonwoo, Boo Seungkwan & Kim Mingyu, Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Chwe Hansol | Vernon & Kim Mingyu, Chwe Hansol | Vernon & Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: Barristers! AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657156
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27





	Dissolution

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wanted to write a disintegrating relationship and I guess, this time was the right time. If this seems vague and ambiguous, know that I wrote it that way coz hey, real life is ambiguous.

**32**

“It’s him. He’s here.”

Two years ago, Seungkwan would have visibly reacted. He imagines he would have gripped his pen harder, his eyes would have narrowed into slits, and his teeth would be grinding in bitterness. But today, all those tells are gone, yet there is still an uprising in his stomach. It’s like the americano he’s been greedily downing this morning is making its vengeance known by crawling up his throat, leaving nothing but acid.

He takes a deep breath and swings his chair around. Wonwoo looks at him with calculation in his eyes, but Seungkwan is surprised to see him standing.

“Odd of you not to be seated down,” he comments lightly as he shifts forward and gestures for Wonwoo to take his usual seat across Seungkwan. 

Wonwoo acquiesces, plopping himself distractedly on the leather armchair. “I didn’t think this would have been a matter to approach with relaxation.”

Seungkwan chuckles humorlessly, reaching for his second cup of iced americano. Maybe, if he takes a sip, the coiling in his stomach would stop. “Let’s all stand to attention then.”

“Seungkwan...”

Seungkwan swirls the cup around. “Where is he anyway? I honestly thought he would never set foot here willingly.” 

“He didn’t come willingly, well at least not at first,” Wonwoo starts,staring pointedly at the framed picture of Bookeu behind Seungkwan’s head.

“So, you mean to tell me, someone’s actually been able to track him and tail him and bring him in?” 

“It was Shua’s intelligence team. They have Jihoon.”

Seungkwan snorts, “And of course, where Jihoon is involved, he would gladly follow. He’s always been stupid.”

Wonwoo doesn’t comment and chooses to shrug instead. 

“So where is he?”

Wonwoo’s gaze on the happy Bookeu drops and he stares Seungkwan down who is just vibrating with nervous energy, failing to project serenity. “Guess, you’ll need to come with me then.”

**32**

The Onyx is a huge, imposing building in the middle of Gangnam. Its name is synonymous to Seoul’s 1%. Being inside The Onyx is like stepping into the lovechild of a utopian future and a royal palace. The decorations and trimmings of the place are meticulously chosen to exude luxury without it being too cloying. The staff are impeccably dressed and well mannered. Truly, even being a member of security, or the maintenance team for The Onyx and the companies and sponsors residing within its walls is already something to aspire to for any ordinary citizen.

Seungkwan stands facing the glass walls of the elevator. The slow descent of the lift from his penthouse office to the basement of The Onyx affords him an unparalleled view of Gangnam at night. From the corner of his eye, he sees Wonwoo’s phone screen light up with an alert for a meditation reminder which the man hurriedly reschedules for a later time. 

Twelve years ago, Seungkwan could have only dreamed of working at The Onyx. And now, despite actually owning some shares in this building, he still finds it surreal. Eight years ago, Seungkwan remembers sharing a cup of ramen with his then roommate talking about great visions and entertaining their delusions. They would laugh at each other, poking holes at various strategies they would come up with, debating endlessly of the merits of policies they were supposed to be studying.

**20**

“The Onyx!” Seungkwan dreamily answers _him_.

“Really? The Onyx? That’s where your dream job is?” he says with a look of incredulity and judgment that had Seungkwan chucking a highlighter at him _. He_ laughs, goofy and all gums and Seungkwan almost flies off his chair to pin him down on their shared bed. He loves seeing _him_ like this, so free and so relaxed. It’s been a hard month for them both, what with their college budget stretched thin and the never-ending coursework. 

Seungkwan straddles him and he stops laughing. His pupils widen and his lips part. Seungkwan leans down. “What’s wrong with my dream job?” he breathes out and he delights in seeing _his_ eyes close.

“Nothing, just, it suits you,” _he_ answers, head shaking and then he opens his eyes and directs a heated gaze towards Seungkwan.

Seungkwan leans further down, lips hovering tantalizingly close to _his._ “Why?”

His hands come up to play with Seungkwan’s dyed blonde hair. He pulls at a strand, and then proceeds to card his fingers through. His eyes suddenly shift away from their shared gaze but Seungkwan is patient for his explanation.

“It’s so you. The Onyx is the pinnacle. And you, Boo, only deserve the peak. Of course, it would suit you. A job at the peak. Hell, I think you’ll even end up being part of the board for The Onyx.”

He says it like a confession, or a prayer. However he has meant it, it still has Seungkwan’s heart thumping loudly, full of affection for this boy. “You think so?”

“I know so,” he claims confidently. “Boo, you’re perfect, you’re everything.”

Seungkwan curls his lip, disgusted by the cheesiness that the boy beneath him spouts. He’s about to playfully hit _him_ on the chest, but _he_ catches Seungkwan’s hand and Seungkwan stills.

When _he_ captures his lips in a kiss, Seungkwan just melts on top of _him_ . _He_ whispers promises of greatness, visions of grandeur and lights their ambitious dreams against his mouth. In between chasing each other’s taste and touch, _he_ tells the universe that they will make it.

If Seungkwan forgets about the fact that they should be preparing their rebuttals for tomorrow’s debate, no one would blame him.

**32**

Now, Seungkwan only has Wonwoo to debate with on the policies and strategies they submit to the National Assembly. Sometimes there’s Seungcheol, but Seungcheol does not care about how they should frame it to the outsiders, all he cares about is how his litigations would affect the group’s operations. Sometimes Shua drops in for touch-and-go discussions, but those are mostly for information verification, or if Shua wanted to give Seungkwan a heads up. 

Debates that he used to revel in during his schooling are now far and few in between. Even the back and forth at assembly sessions would barely qualify for debating. There are very few people in the assembly that could even pass for sub-par orators. 

Wonwoo, who stands to benefit the most from all the assembly talk and flattery, is the only other person in the group who would even dare to question Seungkwan and his approach, but unlike the debates of his student days, these endless, repetitive duets drain him more and more each day. Wonwoo is admirable, he is good at what he does and he knows corporate and finance laws like he was present in the conception of each and every regulation, and despite growing close over the years born out of shared struggles, discussions with Wonwoo wear Seungkwan out just because they were not with _him._

He takes another look at the man beside him and wonders if Wonwoo, the cutthroat CFO that he is now, has always been so exacting. 

**32**

The lift doors open to the basement lobby with a soft ding. Seungkwan follows Wonwoo out into the parking area and mentally berates himself for leaving his car keys and keycard on his desk. After all, one can never know if an escape is necessary.

The basement parking of The Onyx is surprisingly ordinary, there are no special features that would have made it recognisable. At 9 in the evening, with the majority of the office goers and employees based in the building already gone, there’s only a few cars left. The whole floor was dark save for the spots where a dim, yellow light guards each car.

Wonwoo does not give an indication of heading to his car, so Seungkwan surmises that they must be headed to the service lobby. They make their way to the other side of the parking lot. With Wonwoo’s badge, they are granted access. The lobby is a vast difference from the parking lot. If the parking lot is non-descript, the service lobby is still distinctly on brand with the entire building. Despite it being used for back-of-house activities, it is brightly lit and immaculate with sparse but tasteful decoration, until Seungkwan notices the dried, brown-ish and maroon-ish drops on the floor forming a trail to one of the security control rooms. 

That doesn’t look like an ordinary stain.

Seungkwan quickens his leisurely pace and punches in his security code as soon as he reaches the door. There’s a particular stench in the air that greets him when the door opens. It’s a sour mix of sweat, sun, and blood. The room is bathed in a cathode glow from the multiple security screens and in the midst of this sat _him._

_He looks up, registering the opening of the door and the entry of another person. His eyes have adjusted to the red curtain of his own blood dripping down his forehead and he recognizes the newcomer. And then he feels the corner of his lips quirk up. “ Hello, Boo.”_

**16**

“Hello, Boo,” he says as he slides next to Seungkwan who is definitely incensed. Seungkwan resolutely ignores him and pretends to focus on the open textbook but it is pulled right under his nose and Seungkwan has no choice but to look at the current source of irritation. 

The corner of his lips quirk up and he smirks at Seungkwan and Seungkwan thinks it’s the most annoying thing he has ever seen in his 16 years of life. 

“What do you want?” Seungkwan spits at him, ignoring the way the smirk drops so suddenly from his face only to be replaced by a long pout.

“Boo,” he calls as he shimmies up closer to Seungkwan with full on puppy eyes. “I’m so sorry, I swear I just didn’t realise the time.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Seungkwan mutters derisively under his breath. It’s not often that Seungkwan feels this annoyed at _him_ , but today is just a stupid day. And Seungkwan knows that it’s wrong to lash out when _he_ has done nothing wrong, but like he said before, it’s a stupid day. Seungkwan can feel _him_ inches away, his warmth is so palpable that it just adds on to the growing list of annoyances for the day.

“Hey Boo,” he whispers lowly, and Seungkwan can feel the hairs on the right side of his neck stand, but Seungkwan is resolutely unresponsive. A chin drops gently on Seungkwan’s right shoulder and the limits of his simulated indifference almost breaks.

“I really am sorry,” he sighs against Seungkwan’s side. “I know, even when you don’t tell me, that it bothers you when I run late, and I have no excuse other than I am a dumb dumb.”

Seungkwan chews his lips thoughtfully. It does bother him, because all he can think about is how _he_ can be doing so much better things than going along with him , yet here they are, the best of friends even after two years. It’s so ugly and possessive of him, but he cannot help it. Sometimes, Seungkwan thinks he doesn’t bring enough to their friendship, especially during times like this where his patience is just so paper thin and fragile. He turns his head around only to be met with those sincerely apologetic eyes. 

How can Seungkwan stay mad at _him_? 

“You know how you can make it up to me?” Seungkwan teases, and he almost laughs when _he_ perks up like a puppy, eager to be pardoned.

“How?”

Seungkwan smirks at him, and without any warning, shoves a handful of multi colored index cards. He looks at the blank cards in askance. “Since, you were supposed to help me study for this biology exam anyway, you should do my review cards! And do it the way I do it for you in History! It’s only fair!”

“Is that all?” he asks smugly. “Oh Mr. Boo! You think me incapable coz I just admitted I am a dumb dumb but I will prove you wrong!” 

Seungkwan only shakes his head. “Fine, fine, prove me wrong then Mister.”

A smile blossoms on his lips, contrite and yet promising to do better the next time and Seungkwan is drawn closer.

**32**

Seungkwan is drawn closer. His feet lead him to the man bound on the threadbare chair. He feels his knees buckle and sink down to the floor on their own accord. Kneeling in front of the man, Seungkwan looks at him like it is the first time. 

Eighteen years and yet things change very little.

That smirk is something Seungkwan will never forget. His lips appear to be freshly cut, as if he has bitten through a deliberate punch, but they are stretched tight. Even through the pain, his gummy grin remains the same and his eyes twinkle with mischief like it's nobody's business. The black hair from Seungkwan's high school memories is now dyed a cool grey. Gone were the coppery curls of their university days, replaced with a long-ish crop and his lightened bangs are now matted with dried blood.

There’s an impulse that Seungkwan feels. His hand rises, tingling and anticipatory, and he finds himself fixing the dirtied bangs away with a tender brush. Seungkwan surrenders to the urge of cupping his hand against the man’s cheek, dusted and crusted with blood tracks, but he draws a line at his thumb rubbing, lest it be interpreted as a loving caress. 

This time, it is different. 

"Hello Boo," he repeats, this time in a whisper, voice rough and small at the same time. He closes his eyes and shifts, nuzzling his cheeks in Seungkwan's gentle hold. "It's been a long time."

**14**

“Hello, Boo? Boo Seungkwan?”

Boo Seungkwan turns away from his perusal of the neon colored poster for the choir group on the notice board and blinks. “Yes?” he asks as he takes in the unfamiliar boy in front of him. The boy is slender and comes up to Seungkwan’s cheeks and Seungkwan is sure that this boy is new because not only would he remember _him_ , but _he_ would also never even attempt to say hi to the Boo Seungkwan.

Despite sounding awfully tentative earlier, the boy sports a bright, and gummy smile. "I was told you'd be my guide. It's my first day today, and I think they've kind of forgotten me in the principal's office, until they slipped me your ID profile and the secretary told me I can find you here."

"I wasn't aware. I didn't know I'm supposed to be guiding anyone. But, I am Seungkwan, Boo Seungkwan," he says.

Seungkwan never thought that the boy’s grin could grow larger. He’s almost taken aback when this boy grabs his free hand and shakes it vigorously. The boy introduces himself enthusiastically, his name flying over Seungkwan’s head.

“Nice to meet you too,” Seungkwan returns, a bit less enthusiastic, but he cannot be blamed because this guiding thing and this bright boy has suddenly been thrust on him and he is just a little confused. Why the principal’s secretary would choose an unpopular guy like him to guide around someone new is beyond him. He clears his throat anyway and discreetly pulls his shaken hand back to his person.

“So, uh, I really don't know what I am supposed to do," Seungkwan shamefully admits, rubbing a hand at his nape. "Did they say anything?"

He shrugs at him, simultaneously raising his arms to rest at his neck. To Seungkwan, it appears that he cannot really be bothered. "Eh not really."

"Didn't they give you a schedule, or anything? Like what class are you in? I mean, I assume we're in the same grade, because you were asked to look for me. It doesn't make sense to lump you together with me if we're at different grades?" Seungkwan asks rapidly, and it looks like _he_ can barely keep up with all his questions.

"Oh yeah,well, I'm starting my 8th grade and uh, I was born in 98.”

"That's a start. Ok, great. I'm in the 8th grade too and also born in 98," Seungkwan offers awkwardly. _He_ is staring at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to say something else. “Didn’t they give you any paper at all?”

“Oh!” Seungkwan watches _him_ rummage through the clear folder that he only noticed then. He produces a yellow slip stapled with Seungkwan’s printed student profile. “Here, they did give me this.”

Seungkwan takes the yellow slip and his own profile and quickly scans the paper. “8-A, you are my classmate then! But it looks like your schedule today is empty.”

“Is it?” he asks while looking over the empty table below a bolded 8-A. “I thought they were just boxes.” 

“Hmm, no. You don’t have classes for today, so I guess you’re free to go home,” Seungkwan explains as he returns the paper.

“But, I just got here,” a mumble. “And I don’t really wanna go.”

Seugkwan looks at him pityingly, but he cannot do anything about it. “Ah! Here I am, not wanting to go to class, and you’re complaining about not having class! It’s not like the people here are that great.”

“Well, do you wanna ditch with me then?” he asks with a light nudge. “You can always say, you’re touring a new student around? That’s not exactly a lie.”

Seungkwan pauses at that. It’s true. Today could not be considered as one of his good days and he really does not feel like attending the science lecture today. He looks at the hopeful grin that _he_ shoots him and feels his own mouth follow suit. “You know what, I’ll take you up on that.”

With that, the boy grabs Seungkwan’s arm and pulls him along the empty hallway. Seungkwan can only shake his head in disbelief at letting a newly made acquaintance enable delinquency, but there’s something about this boy that Seungkwan trusts would make things turn out fine.

**32**

Things are not fine. _He_ is bleeding in a dark basement. His skin in Seungkwan’s palm is so rough and sticky with a mix of tears and blood. Everything about this is screaming that nothing is fine. If someone told Seungkwan that they would end up like this he would have pushed _him_ away all those years ago. 

The friend that he had in his youth, the lover he had until a few years ago, the man that is hurting now. Seungkwan’s brain cannot string the three identities together, but he knows himself in alignment with the three personalities in his head. He was the insecure loser in his youth, the confident partner until a few years ago, the man that is holding _him_ now.

Seungkwan would never have thought they would end up like this. He feels _him_ shift _his_ head and turn to place a gentle kiss against his hand. 

“It has, it’s been a long time.”

**14**

It hasn’t been a long time. It’s two months after meeting _him_. Two months after ditching that science lecture, which as luck would have it, the class teacher chose that specific day to give a pop quiz. Two months after the delinquency flame has been lit in Seungkwan. It is in those two months after that Seungkwan realised that life is not so bad when you have someone you can call a friend.

This boy, despite his small stature, disarming smile and mischievous demeanour could easily have become one of Seungkwan’s scourges at school. He had all the tools too, girls and boys alike flocked to him on the first day. They were naturally curious about the boy who was such a novelty. And even after that, the hype over the new guy didn’t die down. 

Often times, Seungkwan would hear students whisper around him and ask why _he_ would hang around the fattie, Seungkwan, or the teacher’s pet, Seungkwan. Most would, upon seeing _him_ trotting leisurely behind Seungkwan, because it’s always that way, _he_ would always follow along to where Seungkwan was heading to in the end; try to ingratiate themselves between them.

Sometimes, Seungkwan finds it amusing that they would try so hard. Today was not the day. He’s rushing, because that grotty science class ran overtime again and now he was running late to meet _him_ . Despite belonging to the same advisory class, _he_ was enrolled in a more advanced science elective, and as such, didn’t share Seungkwan’s rambling science teacher.

When Seungkwan reaches the cafeteria, he immediately makes his way towards their favorite table hidden at the far back of the cafeteria. He tries to shove the irritation he feels when he sees _him_ flanked by three guys, who typically hang out in the pavillions and not the quote-unquote loser’s cafeteria. _He_ has his back turned to him and doesn’t see him approaching, but as Seungkwan gets closer he hears the familiar cajoling.

“I really don’t understand why you hang out with that Boo kid.”

“You’re cool! I don’t see why you have to limit your social circle to him.”

“Hey, if you want, you can hang out with us instead!”

Seungkwan has heard these and all its variations before. Each time ends the same way, Seungkwan is left without a friend. He’s expected this to happen, but it is still disconcerting to witness it so early at two months in. Usually, it takes a semester for others to warn their friends off. Maybe _he_ is just that much of a catch.

He is a few steps away from their table and he braces himself for _his_ acceptance of the invitation and a sign for the impending end of their friendship when he hears him speak.

“Don’t talk about Boo Seungkwan that way. He’s a great person and a great friend. Thank you for the invitation, but I will not join you.” There’s some irritation underlying _his_ voice as he pointedly turns away from the three scourges on Seungkwan’s pillar of life. 

His eyes widened slightly, probably shocked to find Seungkwan standing behind, but he smiles so readily and moves to stand up, grabbing Seungkwan’s hand and leading him away from the table and the three nobodies. “Oh hello, Boo! Ready to go?”

And just like that, Seungkwan’s breath hitches.

**32**

Seungkwan's breath hitches. He pulls back and takes his hand away as if bitten. In a flash, he stands up and disregards the shade of disappointment on the man's face. He chooses to ignore it, this is not the time and place. He whips around and his eyes pin the only culprit responsible for the mess.

"Never pegged you for a thug, Cheol hyung," Seungkwan hisses as he watches Seungcheol shrug nonchalantly while blatantly making a show of wiping his bloodied knuckles. 

Seungcheol huffs out a laugh. "I'm a man of many talents Mr. Boo."

"Hmm," Seungkwan stares at him and Seungcheol stares back unflinchingly. "Where's the other one?"

"With Seokmin, that paralegal of yours has a talent for knocking out people who don't talk."

"And why is he not here then if the other one is knocked out?"

"Well, Seok said he's much better off reading more about the upcoming ac* brief rather than watching me."

"And you didn't think you're much better off helping him build a solid strategy than, I don't know, acting like a mafia figure?"

Seungcheol scoffs. "I trust Seok, he's good enough on his own, plus I was bored, and I've always wanted to punch him."

Seungkwan has to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. Seungcheol has always had a fiery history with _him_ as the one who had the job of representing the Black Onyx Group in almost all operational matters. _Him,_ being a notorious lobbyist, has had the honor of butting heads with Seungcheol 100% of the time, despite the fact that legalities are well within Seungkwan's responsibility seeing that he is the Chief Legal Adviser to the Black Onyx Group.

"Wonwoo hyung, are we not all lawyers here? Why do we even have to act like the goons we hire? Tying him up, really Cheol hyung?"

Wonwoo giggles lowly and Seungkwan almost suffered a whiplash, glaring at him. In his mind, he can only see and hear _him,_ two years ago _,_ derisively asking if he was aware that the people he works with are borderline sociopaths. 

Deranged. All this time, Seungkwan thinks, you've always been right.

**30**

“You don’t even see it do you?”

“What are you talking about?” Seungkwan asks tiredly. He can feel a headache starting to form on the tops of his eyebrows. It’s been a harrowing 72 hours at the office and the last thing he wants is judgment while they were supposed to have a lovely dinner after missing each other for the whole week. Despite living in the same flat, their commitments have been successfully keeping them apart.

“Your officemates,” he punctuates. “They’re freaking sociopaths.”

Seungkwan’s grip on his chopsticks tighten. This is not the first time he has heard _him_ criticize not just his colleagues but also the nature of his job. Sometimes he thinks he’s had enough, but having enough of this would imply having enough of _him._ And to that Seungkwan, can admit that he would never.

“Can we just have a nice dinner?” Seungkwan pleads.

He exhales loudly. Seungkwan already knows what’s going on in _his_ mind. Breathing loudly has always been _his_ way to physically let go of something he has been so adamant about, but it’s also a sign of shelving it for another time.

Seungkwan looks at him, he is bone tired, just like him. He has loosened his tie, and his hair is in disarray. Back when they were studying, juggling law school and part-time internships, Seungkwan would always find _him_ in their shared dorm, undone like this, and it would be his perfect image of home for so many years. A place where they can be at their deepest and darkest selves with each other and yet, they maintain each other’s hope and trust. 

But now.

Now, Seungkwan wonders if he feels as exhausted, as drained as him when they see each other so stripped down.

Because to Seungkwan, this does not feel like home anymore.

“You told me before,” his voice breaks into Seungkwan’s mind and he has to look at anywhere but _him._ “That, that would be the last time that The Black Onyx would go against us.”

Seungkwan doesn’t speak. He just twirls his noodles idly.

“You promised me,” he says and Seungkwan has to wince at the disappointment and accusation in _his_ voice. “You promised me that you understand what Jihoon and I are doing. That you will try your best not to get in our way. That you understand how hard it is to get support from the assembly and they will not meddle. Not with this bill.”

“What do you want from me?” Seungkwan answers defeatedly.

"I wanted you to try your best. Not just for me, but for the people who would benefit from this bill too.”

“I am just doing my job.”

“I know you are!” This time, he shouts. “You are doing such a good job, Boo! You have the whole Black Onyx, under your legal guidance. You are doing the perfect job of catering to their needs.”

“What do you want me to do?” Seungkwan repeats, not out of curiosity, but out of habit. They’ve been through this before. It feels like _he_ would never understand. No matter how much Seungkwan would like to force the company to turn over its head and become more honest, and less intrusive on the National Assembly, Seungkwan is but a sole voice against the massive crowd.

He slumps against the chair and in that moment Seungkwan knows that _he_ has given up the fight. Given up on him, and he thinks he should be more concerned, but he is just relieved to finally escape his reckoning. 

“I want you, Boo,” he says resignedly. 

But Seungkwan can hear what he doesn’t say.

 _He_ wants the old Boo back, the one who would balk at office politics, and be disgusted by deception and moving so much wealth around.

He doesn’t understand a lot of things though, because in The Black Onyx, there is only the Board, and the bottomline. If Seungkwan, who upholds the word of the Board and thickens the bottomline, is no longer disgusted at the practices he sees on the daily, does that make him a sociopath too?

**32**

Seungcheol does not even bother to hide the mirth he feels at Wonwoo's irreverent giggling. So Seungkwan dials up the heat in his gaze. Despite Wonwoo being older than him, Wonwoo schools his face into a serious expression, and moves to untie the man bound on the chair.

"I just found the goons reference funny," Wonwoo grumbles as he undoes the knots on the man's hands. The man's head lolls forward, and Wonwoo, worried that an irrevocable damage has been done, proceeds to check the man's pulse. It's beating slightly slower than usual, but the man has fallen unconscious. "He's out cold. Guess it's been a long day for him."

“You think?!” Seungkwan answers with venom. Wonwoo ignores him and continues to check on the man. The man may not be on the top of Wonwoo’s favorite persons list, but he’s not about to give in to the made man dream.

“Kwannie, Kwannie, Seungkwannie,” Seungcheol sings-songs as he steps forward, closely leaning into Seungkwan's space. “You may be the board's favorite, but remember, this is mine. All of this, this group, may not be mine now, but this is my birthright. I'll do what I want and what I have to do.”

Seungcheol straightens up and proceeds to dust the imaginary lint off Seungkwan's shoulder. “Besides, I had him tied up for you. Don't you like your little present? Shua worked really hard to get you him.”

“I am taking him with me.”

Seungcheol snorts and turns around, walking towards the door. “Of course you are taking him,” he says dismissively with a careless wave of his hand. “Take care of your man, Kwannie.”

**28**

“Take care of your man, Kwannie,” Seungcheol says out of the blue that has Seungkwan lifting his head up from the stack of documents he was going through.

“Huh?” he asks, confused as to why Seungcheol would even reference his boyfriend. “What are you saying?”

Seunghceol’s lips points at a distance behind him and Seungkwan has to turn around. There outside the frosted glass walls of the small archive room that they have cooped themselves in for the past three hours, stood two familiar figures. It was _him_ and Jihoon. Jihoon was gesturing wildly and _he_ was laughing with great abandon. 

Jihoon is one of The Black Onyx Group’s junior lawyers. He was a bit older than Seungkwan and Seokmin, and younger than Seungcheol, Shua and Wonwoo, but he is someone that Seungkwan looks up to unconditionally. The six of them make up the junior team of The Black Onyx Group’s Head Legal department, each with their own areas of expertise. Everyone in the group of companies knows that these six are being groomed to be the next generation of successors. Seungkwan has known them for the past four years of his life, back when they were all interns and paralegals working on passing the bar.

It doesn’t surprise Seungkwan to see them animated in discussion, after all, _he_ has admitted to Seungkwan that among his colleagues, it was Jihoon and Seokmin that he admired the most. 

“I don’t get it,” Seungkwan asks Seungcheol. “Am I supposed to be jealous?”

Seungcheol snorts. “You aren’t?”

Seungkwan rolls his eyes and goes back to copying the specifics of the case that he thinks would help them in finding a loophole for the rumoured bill to be passed in a week’s time. “I trust him, Cheol-hyung. Besides, we have known each other for fourteen years now. He’s not that kind of man, just because you think he’s a quote-unquote dirty lobbyist.”

“Fine, be that as it may,” Seungcheol starts. “Don’t you think Jihoon is awfully so close with him?”

“Are you sure you’re not the one jealous?”

“I am not jealous, Boo Seungkwan. I just have eyes. We know Jihoon, he doesn’t open up that quickly to outsiders.”

“Hmm, ok, if you say so,” Seungkwan dismissively waves him away. His phone vibrates continuously and lights up with multiple texts from the devil himself. He opens the messages and smiles.

_W/ Jihoon hyung._

_Said u were busy._

_I’ll wait for u in the cafe downstairs._

_Jihoon hyung getting coffee too_

_Good luck in ur brief Boo_

_Let me know if u need me to bring up a cuppa_

_Love u Boo <3 _

Seungkwan quickly texts a reply.

_It’s fine bb, love u too, will be done soon *kiss**kiss**kiss*_

Seungcheol clucks his tongue and Seungkwan just shakes his head at him.

“It’s all very sus,” Seungcheol continues. “I feel like something is going to change. Especially with Jihoon.”

“You’re being very paranoid, hyung. Besides, we have all known Jihoon hyung for years. He may not like being in corporate law, but he knows he’s good at this. He wouldn’t leave us.”

“Kwannie, Kwannie, I always forget that I’m three years older than you. Clearly, you don’t know much about people.”

Seungkwan shrugs. This conversation has already bored him. Like he said, there’s nothing to worry about and if Seungcheol chooses to be anxious about things they cannot possibly have the ability to foretell, that’s on him. For now, he focuses on the case, the upcoming hearing at the assembly. “Anyways, hyung, as much as I would like to stay another night here in the archives, I’m afraid I’ll pass for tonight.”

“Huh? Why? Who would help me for the cases in 2015 to 2019?” Seungcheol asks, brows furrowed in annoyance.

“I’ve texted Seok hyung, he said he’ll be free to help you later. And, like you said, I have to take care of my man too. I just wanna go home with him tonight.”

**32**

Seungkwan is going home with him tonight, he decides as he heaves _his_ slumped body upright. Wonwoo stands stiffly next to him, watching him clearly struggle with the weight of this man but not making a move to help at all.

“Can I have a hand?” Seungkwan huffs out to Wonwoo as he tries to lift _him_ out of the chair.

Wonwoo eyes him critically. “He’s passed out, not gravely injured.”

Seungkwan grits his teeth. “Just give me a hand, hyung, to my car. My car keys are on my desk, if you could call Hyein to bring them down?”

“Where are you going?” Wonwoo asks as he takes the left side of _his_ unconscious form while Seungkwan takes the right. 

“We are going home,” Seungkwan answers him resolutely.

“You’re a lawyer, Seungkwan, not a doctor. What he needs now is a doctor, not your tender, loving care, as much as you believe it would help,” Wonwoo says dispassionately. Truly, at this point, Wonwoo could not care any less, but he’s not about to let Seungkwan’s emotions triumph against common sense.

“No, we are going home,” Seungkwan repeats. “This has gone on for too long. Wonwoo hyung! Why are we allowing this? Why is this happening now? When have we started tolerating violence?”

“It’s always been happening, Seungkwan. You just ignore it because it didn’t involve him,” Wonwoo relays slowly. To Seungkwan, it only sounds like Wonwoo just called him dumb. 

“That’s not true. We’ve never resorted to this,” Seungkwan argues back. He shifts _him_ higher on his shoulder cursing the height difference between him and Wonwoo. “This is kidnapping, hyung.Threatening never escalated to a forced disappearance. Tracking doesn’t mean getting them physically. Hell, Seokmin hyung decking Jihoon? Have you all gone insane?”

“It’s our jobs on the stake now, Seungkwan,” Wonwoo patiently explains.

“When have our jobs never been on the stake? Every brief we make, everytime we show our face to the assembly, or grovel for various lawmakers, isn’t that putting our jobs on the line? What makes this time different that you, Cheol, and Shua hyung had to take Jihoon and him? What makes them special?”

Seungkwan cannot stop himself from growing angrier at each question he asked. It doesn’t help that Wonwoo is so irritatingly calm in this situation. Not once has Wonwoo raised his voice, even worse, he seems to be treating the whole thing with such a blase attitude.

“I can’t believe you’re asking this Seungkwan. It’s not becoming of you to pretend like you don’t know anything.”

Seungkwan sniffs. “I am, and trust me, I will ask again. They’ve already lost their bill, the past few weeks do not have anything to do with them.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong, Seungkwan. It has everything to do with them. It was Jihoon who came to the Seoul High Court, it was him who gave the Prosecutor Xu all the history of manipulation and the motivation to look into The Black Onyx Group. And _he_ helped Jihoon orchestrate it.” 

Wonwoo says it so matter-of-factly, as if he was delivering another financial report to the board. As if this was not the biggest revelation of the night to Seungkwan. 

“What?” Seungkwan almost drops _him_ in shock. He cannot fathom it. The past few days of the board beating down his back, demanding that Seungkwan iron out the legalities and seal all loopholes related with their past transgressions has been a result of their conspiracy? 

“I wouldn’t lie,” Wonwoo promises solemnly. “Shua suspected it months ago when their bill failed, but he didn’t think that they would follow through it.”

“ _Him_ and Jihoon?” 

**29**

“Hey,” Seungkwan whispers as he clambers into bed with _him_ after his hot shower _._ He was similarly, freshly showered with an iPad on one hand, and wearing his reading glasses. He looks up and away from his reading the moment the bed dips.

“Hey Boo,” he coos softly, acknowledging Seungkwan who was pressing himself closer and burrowing under the covers. “What’s up?”

Seungkwan wraps his arms around _him_ and rubs a cheek against his flannel pyjamas. “Nothing, just a long day at work.”

Seungkwan feels him sit up straighter, and he looks up at him, wondering what he was going to do. He watches him remove his glasses, place the iPad on the side desk, and finally turn off the sole source of light in their room, coming from his reading lamp. He lowers himself down the bed and proceeds to envelope Seungkwan in a hug. Seungkwan sighs in satisfaction and breathes his familiar scent in deeply, letting it wash over him and wash away the tension.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he offers.

“Jihoon hyung resigned today.”

“Oh, I see,” he says, suspiciously calm. Seungkwan knows that neither of them are into baseless gossip, but he expects something more than an “Oh.”

“You’re not surprised?” Seungkwan asks and he moves himself up his chest so he can look at _him._ _He_ opens one eye and watches him skeptically. “Not even a bit?”

“Hmm, it has been a long time coming…,” he says, as he adjusts himself to make it comfortable for both him and Seungkwan.

“You think so?” Seungkwan ponders. “You know what’s scary, Seungcheol hyung, has anticipated this like six or seven months ago. Remember the time you visited me during our brief hell week?”

“I’m surprised he didn’t resign earlier actually.”

“Really? Why?”

“You know Jihoon hyung. He isn’t one to thrive in a corporate setting. He’s just not into it,” he says with such an air of finality that Seungkwan can’t help but narrow his eyes a bit.

“How can you tell?” Seungkwan prods. “Jihoon hyung is a really strong lawyer. In fact, everyone can tell that he’ll be on his way to becoming the Chief Legal Adviser in a year or so, especially now that they’re rushing to announce Cheol hyung as the Chief Operations Officer. It makes sense to absorb the old VPs into the board and be replaced by the ones they groomed. Jihoon hyung could not have left at a worse time.” 

“Sometimes, Boo, some people just aren’t cut out for the corporate ladder.”

“It’s such a loss though, don’t you think?”

“Is it really?” he returns with a thoughtful hum and a squeeze to Seungkwan’s side. Seungkwan cuddles closer to _him_ and tucks himself under his chin. “I guess hyung will be happy at leaving. I mean, he must have been discontent enough to walk away from all that.”

“Maybe he isn’t happy, yes, I acknowledge that,” Seungkwan raises. “But who ever said working will always be happiness after happiness? Isn’t that naive of him? There will always be things we have to give up for a living. Isn’t that what we are being paid for?”

He takes Seungkwan’s hand in his, and rubs it comfortingly. “Boo, you know you can’t assume that for everyone.”

“I know,” Seungkwan relents, and for a while, he lets it rest. He knows that _he_ has always been sensitive to other people’s plights in life, but the degree of _his_ knowledge about Jihoon’s motivations for leaving are giving him pause. “What are you not telling me?”

He sighs, and Seungkwan braces himself for an onslaught of information, because his gut is telling him that whatever _he_ is about to say will connect the dots in his head.

“Actually, Jihoon hyung told me that he’d be willing to partner with me for the non-profit lobbying group I was trying to set up,” he reveals. 

Seungkwan lets out a breath that he didn’t realise he has been holding. “Oh.”

“I swear,” this time, he sounds as if begging for Seungkwan’s understanding or secrecy. “I didn’t force him or convince him to resign, we just got to talking about corporate law, and lobbying and how it seems so similar, and he became interested in it.

“And then he told me about wanting to resign, but not exactly going back to corporate law and doing the same thing at a different place, so he offered to back me up with a portion of his settlement.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this?” Seungkwan asks as soon as he finishes talking. A part of him feels like the rug under his feet has been pulled. Was he that absorbed in his work that he didn’t recognise such shifts in _him?_

“I have known you for such a long time. I know putting up this organisation is your dream, if you were struggling, I could have done something,” Seungkwan continues.

“I know, Boo, I know you’d help me out,” he grips Seungkwan’s hands tighter, and brings them up to _his_ lips, kissing his knuckles reverently. “But this is my own making, and honestly, could you imagine yourself doing pro-bono work 70% of the time? I couldn’t do that to you, Boo. Your dream has always been with The Black Onyx Group. You thrive in it. I won’t take you from that. No matter how difficult or challenging my career is taking me now, I will never ask you to forget your own dream for me.

“Jihoon hyung approaching me to partner up for this organization, is just a happy coincidence. I didn’t want to hide it from you, and I’m sorry I did. I didn’t want to break hyung’s trust and I didnt want to celebrate prematurely. I don’t want to jinx anything, Boo,” he says, eyes pleading and just like that, he and Seungkwan now have reversed positions. This time it was _him_ asking for understanding.

And Seungkwan is understanding, but he is allowed to feel some bit of hurt, it is only valid. 

“I understand,” Seungkwan promises, and he slips his hand out of his grip to lift his chin up. He gives him a small peck of reassurance on the corner of _his_ lips. “I’m not mad, a little disappointed, maybe, that you’ve kept this from me for so long. But I am so proud of you.”

His eyes tear up with relief, finally the tension of holding a secret from his partner breaking down on his dam of emotions. 

Seungkwan giggles lowly at this sweet, adorable man; and because he is an easy crier himself, he can feel his eyes growing heavier with the promise of sympathetic tears. “Hey don’t cry, you should be proud of yourself, and be happy. Why are we crying?” 

“I don’t know,” he admits bashfully as he brushes the stubborn tears away from his eyes.

This time, it’s Seungkwan who pulls him into a tight embrace. They fall back into bed and hold each other through sniffles and giggles. It is him who falls asleep first, and when he does, Seungkwan opens his side lamp.

The soft, yellow light hitting his sleeping face does not elicit any response, and to Seungkwan, that’s the sign that _he_ is truly asleep. He turns around and hovers above _him_ , observing the way he sleeps. Unbidden, Seungkwan thinks that this is the guy he will marry. He will whisk _him_ away to New York and get gay married. It’s only a matter of time now.

Seungkwan places butterfly kisses over _his_ eyelids. He is beyond proud of this man. He has seen _him_ suffer through being a lowly paid government aid for so long, and then become a more acceptably paid registered lobbyist for a cultural-political group in the Seoul district and truly, it is _his_ dream to be able to put up a non-profit lobbying group that smaller, and less privileged interest groups can consult so hearing this confession from him is making him feel so elated.

He recognizes that It’s a huge step for _him_ and _his_ dreams and he can only wish him success and fulfillment like he has found in The Black Onyx Group. And although, his heart bursts with pride and joy for him, he can’t help but see this step not only as a big step forward for him, but also as a step away from Seungkwan.

Because at the end of the day, while they are both lawyers, both so madly in love with their professions, and unconditionally smitten and in love with each other, they are still two distinct people with differing beliefs and views. The past fifteen years showed them both their similarities and their individualities, but they have always made their way in life together. 

It seems this time, they are starting to grow in their own directions.

**32**

By force of habit, Seungkwan inputs the directions to his home on the navigation system. For the past two years, ever since they decided to live separately and take a break from each other, Seungkwan has found solace in listening to the GPS speak during his journey home. He would rarely listen to music, because like every love song said, each song is a painful reminder.

At the red light, he stares unabashedly at _him_ and he balks at how horrible _he_ looks. He thinks that maybe, Wonwoo was right. Maybe, what he needed was a hospital, not another interrogation. 

“Siri… Call Kim Mingyu.”

The call connects and the high trill of Mingyu’s phone ringing fills the entire car. It goes on for a few seconds until Mingyu picks up. 

“Yo it’s Gyu! Seungkwannie! You called!” Mingyu excitedly rushes out and Seungkwan has to look back at _him_ to check if Gyu’s loud voice has miraculously woken _him_ up. 

“Gyu hyung, please keep your voice down, I’m currently driving and I have a sleeping passenger.”

“Oops sorry, it’s just that you don’t call often and well, can you blame me? Anyway, what do you need?”

“Can you come to my house, hyung? And please bring your kit with you?” Seungkwan requests, urgency apparent in his voice.

“What? What happened Seungkwan?” 

“I’ll explain when I get there. Just please take whatever it is you need to treat a bloodied head, some cuts on the face.”

“Boo Seungkwan! Just what is going on? And did you seriously let a guy with a bloodied head sleep? What if he’s concussed! Wake him up now!” 

There’s panic in his voice that Seungkwan can recognise as he berates him. “Hyung! I can’t tell you, and he’s passed out. I can’t wake him up.”

“You know what, I’ll rush to your house, but you better bring him awake, so do all that you have to do to wake him up.” 

Mingyu ends the call, blood rushing to his head. In the span of a minute, Mingyu has felt elation, confusion and horror all because of Seungkwan. He only wishes Seungkwan would be able to wake up whoever it is that he will have to treat.

**22**

“Wake up!” Seungkwan screams as he steps into _his_ room. It’s the day of their graduation and Boo Seungkwan will be damned if he lets him sleep in late to one of their most important days yet. 

Having finished university, they have stopped sharing a dormitory. He has returned to his home which is an hour away from the campus, and Seungkwan, being his long time friend and an honorary family member, was invited to stay the night. Seungkwan’s parents will be flying in from Jeju today and they have decided to allow Seungkwan to sleep over at their other adoptive son’s house. 

He doesn’t budge despite Seungkwan’s loud voice. It’s fine, Seungkwan is used to this. They haven’t been roommates for four years and best friends for eight years if they didn’t know what would wake each other up. 

Seungkwan steps back, almost returning to the door, and with full force, he speeds towards the bed and launches himself. He is fully airborne for a few seconds until he lands on top of the duvet wrapped lump on the bed.

 _He_ grunts and Seungkwan lets out a full-blown belly laugh.

“Boo Seungkwan, I swear to God, I will kill you,” he mutters angrily. “I don’t care if I love you, I’ll kill you first thing.”

Seungkwan ignores his grousing and rolls to his side, still cackling, as he proceeds to dig out the one who has finally awakened. But _he_ holds on tightly to the duvet separating himself from Seungkwan, and times like this, Seungkwan is reminded that he is still the older of the two.

“Come on, grumpy,” Seungkwan coos, pulling the duvet away from him, and he finally emerges, coppery curls in disarray and squinting angrily at Seungkwan.

“I hate you,” he murmurs and Seungkwan just laughs boldly in his face.

“You don’t! Good morning sleepy head,” Seungkwan says as he kisses him soundly on the cheek. 

Despite being woken up early and in an annoying manner too, he doesn’t rub at his cheeks petulantly. Instead, he brightens up, and just like that, he forgets that he has been rudely awakened. 

“Good morning, you goblin,” he says cheekily. Seungkwan just bleats at him. “Because you woke me up in such a rude way, I’m afraid I won’t give you my graduation gift.”

Seungkwan’s eyes widen and he immediately protests. “That’s not fair! I’m only doing my job of keeping you in line! It’s not my fault that you always sleep in!” 

He laughs at Seungkwan who was now pouting. “Fine, fine! I’ll give you your graduation present. But first you have to close your eyes.” 

Seungkwan claps his hands in glee and obediently closes his eyes. He can feel him get up from the bed, and he hears a drawer being opened. When he returns to the bed, Seungkwan eagerly holds out his hand for the gift. A medium-sized, rectangular, box with a velvet finish is placed on his hands. He opens his eyes and looks at the black box, stunned and intrigued, and then looks at _him_ who was grinning.

“Open it,” he says as he pushes the box closer to Seungkwan. 

Seungkwan opens it carefully and inside it, nestled on a crushed velvet pillow is a pink, obelisk-like stone, or is it a crystal. He lifts it gingerly from the pillow, and out spills a silver necklace. “What is this?”

“It’s a necklace,” he teasingly answers him. He gestures for the necklace and Seungkwan hands it over. “I’ll put it on you.”

Seungkwan turns around and he feels him kneel behind him. _He_ opens the clasp of the necklace and swiftly brings it around Seungkwan’s neck and fastens it. 

“It’s rose quartz. I’ve read a little about it and they say it attracts all kinds of love. Self-love, filial love, love for friends, and romantic love. They also say some things about healing but I didn’t really understand all of those. But, to me, Boo, it’s my promise, that you will always be loved, wherever you are.” 

**32**

Seungkwan fingers the rose quartz necklace hidden under his collar. A promise of love, wherever life takes them, _he_ once said.

After ending the call with Mingyu, Seungkwan debated ways on how he should wake _him_ up. He thought slapping him with all his might would work, but if _he_ was actually concussed, it would probably worse his condition. He has been unconscious for a good 20 minutes now, if Seungkwan tried anything in his car, it wouldn’t probably work, so instead he steps on the gas pedal and hopes against hope that the amber lights that he passes through are not too many to earn him a black point against his license. 

He lets out a huge sigh of relief when he finally reaches his home. Taking _him_ out of the car is less of a challenge than getting him inside. Tired as Seungkwan was, he uses all of his strength to drag him up the stairs and lay _him_ on his bed. 

He looks so serene, it was as if he’s only sleeping; and with that Seungkwan jumps into action. He has to wake him up. Rushing to his bathroom, he grabs a glass and fills it with cold water. As soon as it was filled to the brim, he comes back to the room and sits _him_ up. Then, Seungkwan splashes the full glass of water on _his_ face.

 _He_ twitches, and for a second Seungkwan dreads that he’s done something wrong. He’s about to google ways to wake an unconscious person up, when a hand grabs him.

“Boo?” he asks, eyes squinted and obviously disoriented. “Where am I?”

Seungkwan stops. “You— you’re at home.”

He looks around, eyes searching for something to trigger familiarity, but nothing in this room of navy blues, browns and creams remind him of home. “Oh. My head hurts.”

“Don’t worry, Mingyu hyung will be here soon. He’ll look after you,” Seungkwan says as he rushes to fluff up the pillow for _him._ It may have been years, but Seungkwan knows how to read him.

They sit in uncomfortable silence. _Him_ in pain and disorientation and Seungkwan in confusion. 

How does one take care of a possibly tortured past lover who only managed to get into this situation because of their differing perspectives?

Seungkwan was about to ask _him_ if he needed anything, unsure on how to take care of a now awake but previously unconscious person when the security alarm goes off. He disables it through the app and hopes that Mingyu gets the signal that it’d be okay to go directly to his room.

He can hear Mingyu rushing up the stairs and the door opens with a bang. Sometimes, Seungkwan truly wonders if mingyu was fit to be a doctor when he makes such a ruckus everywhere he goes.

“Sorry, Kwan, forgot your doors are not like the ones in the hosp— What?! What is he doing here?” Mingyu says it all in a rushed breath.

Seungkwan moves away from _him_ and approaches Mingyu instead. Mingyu only looks at him bewildered while he is being led to the bed where _he_ sat, eyes unseeing and eerily quiet. Immediately, Minyu straightens up and passes a hand over _his_ forehead. _He_ doesn’t flinch upon contact, nor does he look at Mingyu, instead he turns his head towards Seungkwan who was sat on his other side.

And Seungkwan, bless his heart, has never been able to resist him, places a hand on top of _his_ and squeezes reassuringly.

“Kwan,” Mingyu starts. “What happened? Shit, I know Hao’s mentioned something about your company and the high courts, and that you’re all basically being watched now. Hell, I even saw _his_ interview with Jun days ago! And now you show up with this, and what the hell is going on?”

Seungkwan looks at him and shakes his head. “I have no clue what has been going on, hyung. I haven’t known for years.”

“Why didn’t you bring him to the emergency room?”

“It wouldn’t look good,” this time Seungkwan looks away from Mingyu’s questioning stare. “Please, Gyu hyung, make sure he’s okay.”

Mingyu sighs in disappointment. With Seungkwan tight-lipped like this, he doubts he would get any explanation. So he gets to work instead and as Seungkwan said, attempts to make sure that _he_ will be okay.

**30**

_He_ will be okay, Seungkwan thinks as he drives towards the diner that they promised to meet at. The Hospitality Taxation Revamp bill has been in the works for so long. _He_ would understand that losing their vote against it is just due to the time investment. _His_ group may have been loud and relentless in campaigning against its passing, but Seungkwan trusts that _he_ would understand. _Their_ group just did not have a chance, not when The Black Onyx has prepared their strategies months ahead. 

Seungkwan just got the news that they were able to confirm the votes for the restructuring of taxation for tourism and hospitality industries. It was a big win for him and his team who has been working months on getting all the promised support. He felt elated and so damn proud of himself. It was the first bill the company has successfully rallied under his leadership, being the newest Chief Legal Adviser. 

_He_ will be okay, Seungkwan repeats it mentally like a mantra. But somehow, there’s a strong, acidic taste in his throat. It’s like his body doesn’t believe what he’s trying to manifest, and instead warns him of impending doom.

When Seungkwan reaches the diner, he immediately spots him sat in a private booth upfront, head bowed down, probably scrolling on his phone. He makes his way to him and greets him with a kiss on the cheek before sliding into the seat across him.

“Hey, Boo,” he says as he looks up. 

“Hey yourself,” Seungkwan greets back with a smile. 

“I’ve ordered.”

“Oh, did you get me their coffee shake and made sure to make the tteopokki extra spicy?” 

“I always do.” 

They settle into a comfortable silence that Seungkwan basks in. He’s been worried for nothing at all, he thinks as he watches _him_ look around which prompts him to look around as well. The diner they’re in is non-descript, tables covered with plaid linoleum and chairs covered in red vinyl. It’s low-key and very much retro styled, but it is home for them. This diner grew old with them. He can almost remember the first night they discovered this place on one of their strolls during their university days. It was still new and popular back then, but after 10 years, its popularity has waned but it remained operational. 

“Ahh, you boys have grown so well!” 

A familiar voice and a tray containing a steaming, hot plate of delicious tteopokki, pickled radishes, kimchi, and two towering mugs of milkshake is placed between them.

“Auntie!” Seungkwan looks up to grin at the owner who they have known for a solid decade. “Look at you! Still lovely as ever!”

“You never changed, Auntie! In fact you even look more beautiful now,” he chimes in and Seungkwan winks at him as Auntie giggles exaggeratedly. 

“You two, you’re still the same sweet-talkers,” she chides them as she lays out the dishes on the table. “I’ve seen you both on TV a few times, doing all the work for the assembly! Honestly, you two, my friends don’t believe it when I tell them I’ve almost raised the best lawyers in the country!”

“Aw, Auntie, you flatter us too much,” he says, shyness creeping in his voice.

She tsks. “Nonsense, you kids don’t know just how capable you are. But next time, when you’re going here, give me a call. You can’t just drop by and not expect me to throw you a feast!” 

“Of course, Auntie, we’ll call ahead next time,” Seungkwan promises.

“You two better do. But now, I’ll leave you to it! Shout if you need anything and don’t you dare pay for this meal this time!” 

Seungkwan watches her leave and head for the kitchens and when she’s out of hearing range, he turns to him and smiles conspiratorially. “We’re gonna have to do a cash-and-dash if we don’t want her putting up a fuss about us paying, right?”

He cracks a smile at that. “Don’t we always do that?”

Seungkwan laughs and he takes his chopstick and proceeds to take a huge, cheesy rice cake. He hums in contentment. 

They dig in and for a while, there was only silence and the clicking of chopsticks as they enjoy their meal. For Seungkwan, the silence is a well-deserved retreat. Their past few months have been rocky, dinners vacillating between cold, tense and muted, or heated, stressed and explosive with no in between. They’ve both been working their asses off, albeit on opposing sides, and there’s always a friction between them. Seungkwan is just grateful that now, with the bill finally over, they’ll get their reprieve.

**32**

Seungkwan gets a reprieve from worrying over _him_ when Mingyu finally finishes up on dressing _his_ wounds and getting _him_ to sleep. Mingyu leaves him with the strict instruction of not attempting to move or wake _him_ up. Despite a clear-all that there’s nothing seriously wrong, Mingyu doesn’t want to take any chances and Seungkwan feels the same way. 

He shows Mingyu out to the door as soon as Mingyu has finished packing his bag. Mingyu seemed like he wanted to say something, but decided against it and bid Seungkwan a good night, to which Seungkwan just dumbly nodded. 

When Seungkwan returns to his room, he is struck at the familiarity of the scene. He didn’t realise that he had put _him_ on _his_ side of the bed. He may be wrapped up in bandages now, but it just brings back so much of the last night he has spent in this same room, on the same bed. 

Seugkwan dims the lights and foregoes dressing for bed. Instead he lies down and curls himself up beside him. Against the warnings in his head that sound suspiciously like Mingyu, he cuddles against him and places his hand over _his_ waist and hugs him tightly. 

**30**

Seungkwan is curled around him, _his_ left arm encircles him. They’ve dined and dashed and successfully paid their meal to Auntie. It was one of their most peaceful dinners yet, despite the turbulent start of their year, and here lying down beside him after marking his first and biggest win yet of his career, Seungkwan can’t help but feel satisfied. 

He listens to the soft beating of _his_ heart and he wonders if it’s the right time. He thinks of the box he has hidden under his side of the mattress and contemplates waking _him_ up with a question. He can imagine it clearly in his brain. It will mirror his rose quartz necklace presentation of eight years ago and he warms at the thought. He tries to get up from the comfortable embrace and check on the ring when a hand tightens around him.

“You’re awake?” Seungkwan asks, surprise evident in his voice.

“Yeah,” he answers plaintively.

Seungkwan settles back into the embrace and decides to leave the ring business for tomorrow morning. He’s almost ready to sleep when _he_ speaks.

“I forgot to say congratulations earlier.”

“Oh,” Seungkwan acknowledges. “It’s no big deal.”

“It is though. It was your first ever bill and you’ve won the assembly. You deserve it,” he says.

The words are congratulatory, but it sounds so empty to Seungkwan. He’d be offended if he didn’t anticipate this earlier, so instead he just hums and prays that _he_ won’t say anything more about the topic. Seungkwan is happy, he doesn’t need to think about things that will only make them unhappy.

But alas, God seems to be asleep, because no one seemed to hear his plea.

“Congratulations to Wonwoo and Jeonghan hyung too,” he continues, but this time there is steel in his voice that cools Seungkwan’s blood and ices his veins.

Seungkwan disentangles himself from him. “What do you mean?”

He looks at him tiredly, closes his eyes and suddenly turns his back on him. “It was smart of Jeonghan hyung to frame the payouts as charitable donations to the districts with swing voters.”

“What did you say?” 

“I said what I said, Boo, just go to sleep. There’s no need to worry about it. You guys won.”

“No,” Seungkwan protests. He pulls _him_ and turns _him_ around so that they are facing each other. There’s irritation on _his_ face and Seungkwan is sure he is sporting the same expression. “Tell me what you really think.”

He doesn’t speak, so Seungkwan trudges on. “We’ve been tip-toeing about it for months, like you said, we’ve won. So why not speak now?”

“Fine,” he returns and Seungkwan almost gets a whiplash from how quickly he sits up.

There’s a fire in _his_ eyes that Seungkwan only recalls ever happening when they end up pushing each other’s buttons and he tries to swallow the guilt and fear he feels, but it is all useless now.

“You want me to say something?” he challenges. “Well, here it goes. I hate it. I hate this. I hate Wonwoo for paying the lawmakers. I hate Jeonghan for making it out as an act of charity. I hate how you guys won the bill. I hate that you’re a part of this.”

“You hate it?” Seungkwan whispers.

He has suspected it. It’s hard not to identify the recent tension in their relationship as something merely related to work stresses. It’s not just the hours that they don’t see each other, or the external pressure they get from work that has been rubbing at their relationship. He knows that _he_ knows how seriously Seungkwan takes his work, so working hours and commitments are not the issue. And Seungkwan affords him the same respect. His fresh-off-the-ground lobbying group is as important to him as work was to Seungkwan. Those things are where they find value. But, there’s something at the core that is breaking and Seungkwan has been denying it for months

“Do you hate me then?” Seungkwan’s voice is so small, he doesn’t realise he’s actually said it out loud.

An “I love you” was his response. There was resignation in his voice that Seungkwan finds it harder to swallow.

“That’s not a no.”

“Seungkwan.”

It’s the first time in years that he has called him Seungkwan.

“I hate what we have become,” he confesses. 

“You hate what I’ve become is what you mean,” Seungkwan corrects it for him.

He doesn’t argue. “There are principles and values that a person must uphold.”

Seungkwan scoffs. “And my work doesn’t reflect the values you want?” 

He doesn’t answer, but turns around and swings his leg, putting his feet into his slippers. 

“People change,” Seungkwan continues. “What I’m doing is working towards our dream. Our dream of a good life, a good house, a good family even.”

“At what cost?” he asks, exhausted. “Seungkwan, our dream doesn’t have to make us forget others.” 

“That’s part of the job! There will always be collateral damage. I know you, you’ve always been into a saviour complex, a moral high ground. And that’s why I have always loved you and will always love you. But you’re being naive, life works out even if you forget some people along the way.”

“Collateral damage?” he echoes. “Do you hear yourself?”

Seungkwan quietens down. He does, he does hear himself, but he thinks _he_ doesn’t hear him. 

“Do you hate me?” Seungkwan repeats.

“I love you,” he repeats softly, standing up. “But I hate what you’re becoming.”

He shuffles out of their room and Seungkwan watches him leave.

**32**

Seungkwan sits up and moves towards his side table. He pulls out a small, velvet box and opens it. Inside the box is a thick platinum band with a discreet rose quartz stone set in the middle. He holds it up against the dim light emanating from the back of the headboard. A promise of love is engraved on the inside of the band. 

He tries it on, but hurriedly puts it back inside its box. Two years has passed, but he doesn’t have the heart to return it and ask for a refund.

“Boo,” _he_ croaks behind him. 

Seungkwan turns around and sees him barely awake. The clock on _his_ side of the bed reads 2:05 am. He pockets the box hurriedly, hoping that _he_ didn’t see anything.

“Am I home?” he asks. 

Seungkwan nods. “Are you thirsty? I can get you water from downstairs?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll come down with you.”

“Gyu hyung said you can’t move much.”

“Hmp, Cheol hyung didn’t damage me too much,” he says dismissively. “Besides, I missed this.”

Seungkwan swallows a lump in his throat when _he_ struggles to sit up. He was going to help him, but _he_ waved his hand away. He wants to hold him, guide him out of the room, but _he_ is quick on his feet, so he ends up following _him_ downstairs instead. 

Their descent is surprisingly quick, despite minimal lighting and if _he_ notices that Seungkwan still has their pictures of their earlier days up, _he_ doesn’t say anything. 

They reach the living room and _he_ pauses at the foot of the stairs to observe it under the moonlight coming in from the floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Nothing’s changed,” he comments lightly as he looks at Seungkwan with an unreadable expression.

“I added a few throws, went for a more muted color scheme,” Seungkwan reveals.

“Ah.”

They reach the kitchen and Seungkwan walks in first to switch the lights on. He fetches a glass of water as _he_ climbs onto one of the wooden bar stools and sets _himself_ up in front of the counter. 

“I’ve forgotten how big this house is,” he says with a nod of thanks when Seungkwan hands him the glass of water.

“Where are you staying?” Seungkwan asks, watching him gulp down the drink greedily.

“I’m living with Jihoon hyung,” he answers, placing the empty glass gently on the counter. “Well , that was until Shua hyung found him and hid him away from me.”

“I see.” 

He leans forward on the counter and Seungkwan watches him look around. It feels like the first night they’ve bought the house together with _him_ looking in wonder and Seungkwan just watching him. 

“For the past two years?” Seungkwan can’t help but ask.

He blinks at him. “Ah, not the entire two years. Running a non-profit is not glamorous. The first few months, I had to sleep at the office. But I guess, after 2 months, Jihoon got sick of me beating him to the office so he offered to cohabitate.”

Seungkwan hums. He doesn’t know how to respond. In hindsight, he should have expected this development, but he didn’t realise how awkward everything is. In all his imaginations of them meeting again after that fateful night, he never thought that _he_ would end up injured, sitting on their counter, talking about who he cohabits with. A few moments pass between them and Seungkwan is tempted to leave for his room and leave _him_ in the kitchen.

“Why did you take him?” he asks suddenly. 

“Jihoon hyung?”

He stares at him expectantly.

“Did you know that he filed the indictment in Hao’s office weeks ago?” Seungkwan shoots back.

He grins, and then shakes his head. “We filed the indictment.”

Seungkwan is not shocked anymore. “Shua figured.”

“He’s not wrong,” he returns. 

“Why did you do it?” Seungkwan asks, he is reminded of _his_ last night and bitterness builds up in him again. “Do you hate me that much?”

“It has to stop,” he answers simply. 

“Did Jihoon hyung put you up to this?” 

“No. I told Jihoon hyung that it will be the only way to make sure there’s a fair assembly for the future. I encouraged him to go to Hao.”

Seungkwan breathes deeply. Somehow, hearing him say it nonchalantly is making Seungkwan angry. He wonders if this was how he revealed his involvement to Seungcheol earlier. If it was, Seungkwan figures that Cheol hyung was completely justified in punching him. 

Seungkwan smirks. “I can’t believe that all this time, I thought you were innocent in this.”

He shrugs. “Like you said, it’s all part of the job.”

This time Seungkwan chokes out a laugh. “This is quite a conspiracy that you’ve orchestrated.”

“You would know,” he mocks. 

Seungkwan nods smugly. He leans on the counter and looks at _him_ straight in the eye. Those eyes are still bright despite gaining a calculating edge and he shivers at _his_ gaze. He fishes out the box from his pocket and slides it towards him. “Did it ever cross your mind that they will get you and Jihoon?”

He takes a look at the box in between them and raises a brow at Seungkwan. “What is this?”

“Open it,” Seungkwan commands. 

He opens it, his eyes widen and his mouth forms an o. He takes the ring out and holds it against the kitchen light. “A promise of love? Really?” he snorts as he puts it on his left ring finger.

Seungkwan closes the box with a snap and takes it back. He startles at the sound but he doesn’t remove the ring.

“It’s yours now,” Seungkwan says. He looks at him, nods, admires the ring a bit and takes back his hand, as if hiding it away from Seungkwan means anything. 

“It didn’t,” he says and Seungkwan is momentarily at a loss. He sees him look confused, so he continues. “It didn’t cross my mind that you guys will sink so low to actually get us like this.”

Seungkwan scoffs. “There it is, that moral high ground. Doesn’t it tire you to look down on people and their duties?”

He ignores him. “I’ll be in contact with Gyu hyung. He will be our character witness.”

Seungkwan knows a challenge when he hears one. “Hao would never put Gyu to stand.”

“Hao has the Lead Prosecutor Office in sight,” he counters. “Plus, everyone knows how hungry the Prosecution is for a big catch.”

“I'll come out unscathed,” Seungkwan says with confidence, and just like that all his posturing seems to evaporate. 

“I know you will,” he says in a low voice, breaking the eye contact only to look at his left hand. 

This is the first time in two years that Seungkwan has seen him defeated, but Seungkwan rallies on. “This is just going to be a blip in my career. You won't take me to jail.”

“I don't want to take you to jail,” he reveals. “I don’t want you in this.”

“Too late,” Seungkwan points out. He feels calm for a second, as if the entire conversation has been something that needs to happen in order to give himself closure, but something in him sparks and his anger renews. This time, he lets it all out, because two years ago, he wasn’t able to.

“If you didn’t want to take me to jail, then what is the point? What is the point of you, dragging this, dragging the Chois, incriminating me, Wonwoo, and Shua, the people you've practiced with for fucks sake. For a petty little bill that would have never gotten traction in the assembly? You're brilliant, but this bill is stupid. No one is signing it not because we were bribing or manipulating people. No one signed it because it's wack that you think they'd give up so many things that you ask for.”

Seungkwan watches him tighten. He knew his words hit home for _him_ when _he_ visibly vibrates. 

“Collateral damage. You said before, that the public is collateral damage,” he finally answers as Seungkwan finishes his rant. 

“What?”

“They're not collateral damage, Boo Seungkwan. But if we win this, if Jihoon and I win this, you will understand what collateral damage means,” he says with such conviction that Seungkwan has to pity him. It has been a long time, but it looks like _he_ has never learned how the world works.

“Is that a threat?” Seungkwan spits, but he doesn’t move to answer. “You'll never win this.”

“Maybe,” he says. He exhales loudly and it impresses Seungkwan just how much _he_ can collect himself in one breath. He gets off the bar stool and stands up. “I’m leaving.”

“I’ll call you a cab.”

He makes his way to the threshold of the kitchen and the living room and then turns back again to look at Seungkwan. “Thanks for taking care of me, Boo.”

**32**

Seungkwan calls for a KakaoTaxi in his room since he didn’t bring his phone down with him. He only comes down again when the app notifies that the taxi is waiting outside his house. When he comes down to the living room, he sees _him_ head laying on the backrest, eyes trained on the ceiling.

He looks up at him as soon as he hears him descend. 

“The cab is here,” Seungkwan reports. 

He jumps up and fixes his rumpled shirt; Seungkwan waits for him patiently. With a nod to signify that he is ready, Seungkwan takes his hand and walks him outside. The taxi is parked right in front of the house and Seungkwan can hear the news playing loudly. Snippets of a missing report for one Lee Jihoon drift out in the cool morning breeze. 

He goes to the taxi and grabs the handle to the back door. Before opening it, he turns around and looks solemnly at him. “See you in court, Boo Seungkwan.”

“See you in court, Chwe Hansol,” Seungkwan says back.

This time, he watches Chwe Hansol leave, and just like before, he doesn’t follow.

**32**

“I’ve always wondered how it is that sworn enemies on screens always get to have this big tearful goodbye. It seems so far fetched you know. But seeing you two act like this, I think I can say I understand movies now,” a familiar voice calls out from the street.

Seungkwan whips his head around and sees Wonwoo, leaning on his car, watching the cab drive away.

“Enemies? We’re not enemies,” Seungkwan calls back.

“You sure?” Wonwoo asks, one eyebrow raised as he walks toward him. 

“We can never be enemies,” Seungkwan confirms.

“If you say so,” Wonwoo shrugs. “Let me in your house, I need coffee, Cheol had me tail you so early this morning.”

“You’re a moron, Jeon Wonwoo.”

**Author's Note:**

> * AC brief - Amicus Curiae (Friend of the Courts) brief, a legal device/document that non-prosecution or non-defense parties submit to courts that can provide background information, or expert advice on certain cases.


End file.
